Michael Gove The Boat Ashore

Some things are sent to test you. Crosswords, Sudoku or untangling a tangled slinky, for example. Other things act as a minor irritant, such as a fly excitedly circling your head or Jeremy Clarkson. And some things just make you mad…

Like Michael Gove, who, showing a staunch determination to live up to his (probably not) oft referred to nickname (of Michael Gove the boat ashore, hallelujah – obviously) wants to row a big boat ashore. A £60 million boat no less. As a present for Her Madge. Hallelujah!

Now, and correct me if I’m wrong, I thought we were supposed to be skint. The coffers are empty. As is the piggy bank and the fridge. Aren’t they? Clearly not in the magical Narnia-esque world of the Tories where their overused mantra of “difficult decisions” seems largely to involve deciding on the Bollinger or the Krug. The (not so) poor lambs.

Perhaps I’m been a little harsh and Mr Gove, having seen one big boat sink this week, has seen an opportunity to revitalise Blighty’s manufacturing industry that his predecessors so effectively wiped out in the eighties by building a nice new shiny one? Working on the fact that Poland has essentially built the London Olympics, I somehow doubt it.

And hasn’t the Queen already got a yacht from a previous birthday anyway, so she’s presumably not even got the time to play with two boats and tend to the corgis.

Working on this assumption, I reckon it would be a shame to waste the £60 million. So why don’t we send Liz a nice card with a twenty quid BHS voucher instead and spend whatever is left on something more useful. Like some police officers, or some nurses, or a hospital, or some schools. Or on cutting fuel duty and VAT. Or putting some of the £162 million Gove cut from the schools sports funding back. Or honouring pensions, or giving pensioners their full Winter Fuel Allowance, to think of just a few things while sat in the luggage rack of my severely overcrowded train.

We are all in this together after all. Aren’t we? Yes? Probably.

Fin.

Related posts:

1. The only way is up, or down.
2. As easy as 123
3. A Question of Morality
4. Oh, The Grand Old Duchess Of York

Tags: Jeremy Clarkson, Michael Gove, The Diamond Jubilee, The Queen, Tories

This entry was posted on Monday, January 16th, 2012 at 8:10 am by stuckon194 and is filed under Disasters, The Coalition Government, UK Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.